This Wondrous Love - Chapter Four

A Story of God's Love and Grace -

My Hero

It's time to introduce you to the Hero of my story.  

My Hero is Jesus.  

Before Jesus spoke creation into being, the Father planned that I would be a gift to Jesus.  He recorded my name in His Lamb's Book of Life.  I would be included in those who the Father would bring to Jesus.  I would be part of the people of His own possession.  He included me in His redemption plan.  Jesus, the eternal God, shed His blood for my sins.  Jesus agreed to absorb the wrath of His Father - so I could be His and bear His righteousness.  He set His everlasting love upon me and determined from before creation, that I would forever belong to Him.     

Yes, Jesus is my Hero.  With His love and grace, He placed me in a home with a believing mother who, from the time I was born, took me to church every Sunday and prayed for me.  He gave me wonderful, believing grandparents who also prayed for me.  Jesus placed a Good News Club in the neighborhood in which I grew up, where, when I was nine years old, the Holy Spirit opened my heart and understanding to the gospel.  It was at this Good News Club that Jesus took me from the domain of darkness and placed me into His kingdom, and began His good work in me of transforming me into His likeness.  

As infinite as His glory, holiness, and worth, I was totally undeserving of His love, mercy, and grace.  

From the time Tim and I got together at his sister's wedding, until the day of our wedding, we'd only spent about thirty days together.  We'd pretty much carried on a long distance relationship over the phone.  I woke up that July 5th morning with a lot of doubts.  Did I really know Tim?  Did I really love him?  Now I was the one with cold feet.  I wanted to back out, but I didn't.  I was terribly homesick in those first months.  I started to sinfully live by my feelings.  It's a simple truth that transformation takes place as we look to Jesus and as we walk in obedience to His Word.  When we live according to our feelings and not the Word of God, transformation is halted and Jesus is not exalted in our lives.  I took my eyes off of Jesus, placed them on my feelings, and began to only see Tim's flaws.  Marriage is a picture of the relationship Jesus has with His church.  Tim loved me.  Tim put me first.  Tim was Jesus to me but I was not a picture of the church to Jesus.  I did not give him the honor and significance that a wife is called to give to her husband, like the church is called to give to her Savior.  Instead of glorifying my husband and serving his interests, I served my own interests.  I put on a good, hypocritical face at church and around my family, but at home I was mostly quiet and withdrawn from Tim.  With my eyes off of Jesus, I'd let many fears about being a wife take root in my heart.  I had become a hearer of the Word only in the area of my marriage.  Yet Tim continued to love me with forbearance, grace, and patience.  

Jesus loves His own possession with an everlasting love.  His love never stops.  He doesn't withdraw His love, even when we withhold ours to Him.  In reality, not loving Tim the way Jesus wanted me to love him was not loving Jesus.  Jesus was merciful to me.  In His lovingkindness and grace, Jesus brought about circumstances which set me on a path to obedience, joy, and blessing.  He introduced me to James MacDonald's faith definition -  Faith is believing the Word of God, and acting on it, no matter how I feel, because God promises a good result.  When I set my feelings aside and began to act on His Word, the blessings and joy began to cascade into my life...

This Wondrous Love - Chapter Three

A Story of God's Love and Grace - 

"Yes!"

(The last paragraph from Chapter Two...   Then, out of the blue, Tim stood up.  He pulled a small, blue, velvet box from his pocket.  One of his knees dropped to the floor.  He looked up at me.  He smiled - and then I caught my breath as he asked me the question almost every girl dreams about being asked...)

"I love you, Kath, will you marry me?"

...I threw my arms around Tim's neck, "Yes!"

Tim took me out to a really nice dinner after that but before we went into the restaurant he said, "I need to make a phone call."  This was before cell phones, way before, so we found a pay phone and Tim dialed my home number.  My mom answered the phone and Tim asked for her permission and blessing to marry me.  My mother queried him with these three questions...

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Do you love the Lord?"

"Yes."

"Will you love me?"

"Yes!"

She really did ask those questions, in that order.  Tim really did answer, in that way, and his answers were all true, then, as they are now.

We had my mom's blessing.

It was Ground Hog's Day, February 2, 1980.  (It is just as romantic to get engaged on Ground Hog's Day as it is on Valentine's Day.)  Before I flew home to finish out the school year, we set the date for July 5th.  There were a little less than four more months of school left.  Four more torturous months.  Five months to plan a wedding.  I was still actually going to a couple of my classes.  One was a calligraphy class.  I never turned in my final project and was flabbergasted to learn I'd received a "C" in the class - it was totally undeserved.

I did not graduate.  I had attended Biola on a four year scholarship, based on my mom's income and a fairly decent high school GPA.  Biola required a year of Bible.  So technically, it takes five years to get through Biola, if you don't take interterm classes, summer classes, or heavy loads.  I was ready to be done with school, ready to be done with the pressure of homework, of lab-work,  and term papers.  I had no desire to have a career.  I wanted to be married, set up a home, and raise a family.  It's all I had ever really wanted.  Oh, there was a time when I thought it would be fun to be a park ranger.  My family grew up camping and I loved the outdoors.  And then I thought I wanted to be a nurse.  From a nurse it went to a PE Teacher.  From a PE Teacher it went to a Christian Camp Director.  They actually offered a degree in it at Biola.  The last classes I took were Education classes.  I'd finally settled on teaching, but the scholarship money was ending, and my enthusiasm for school was long gone.

Yes, I wanted to be married and I thought I understood what it meant to be a godly wife.  I would soon learn however, just how self-centered I was.

Here's where the story of God's love and grace unfolds...

This Wondrous Love - Chapter Two

A Story of God's Love and Grace - 


Sleepless Nights

(Last paragraph of Chapter One - Happy Anniversary, Sheryl and Skip!  It was evening by the time we got to the pier.  It was just natural to take Tim's arm as we walked.  We fell behind the rest of the group.  It was a cool evening, he gave me his coat, I was falling in love...)

...I'm sure I didn't get much sleep that night.

Tim was going to be at church the next day and then he would be flying home, back up to the Bay Area.  He needed a ride to the airport.  (He picked me.)  It was before 9/11 of course, when you could go all the way up to the gate and say good-bye.  We sat and talked, the clock ticking closer and closer to boarding time.  Tim waited until the last second, he drew me into his arms, kissed me sweetly, and then disappeared with a smile.

I loved his smile.

I know I didn't get much sleep that night.

The rest of November came and went.  I spent little time in class, except for my Bible classes.  (Yes, I was a rebel.)  I did go to the required chapels - I loved them.  I also worked my dorm maintenance job which I actually enjoyed.  My dorm room was at the end of a very long hall.  There were two phones in the hall to serve about one hundred girls.  My roommate was engaged.  She had a phone installed in our room.  Now half the calls coming in were to me.  Most of my earnings went to pay my phone bill.  Each toilet I scrubbed meant at least five minutes on the phone with Tim.  It was worth it!  There were letters.  I loved to write letters.  I would write each day, sending Tim puzzle pieces to my life, and after a few days I would put the compilation into an envelope and mail it off.  I learned Tim was not a letter writer.  A phone call was his thing but every once in awhile he would manage to get a letter off to me.  That he would take the time to write, a task he didn't really enjoy, told me how much he cared for me.

In December, just after Christmas, Tim flew me up to the Bay Area.  I stayed through New Years.  Tim owned his own home which he shared with a couple of roommates.  I stayed with his parents who lived just a couple of miles away.  Tim and Sheryl's parents were wonderful.  We hit it off from the start of my friendship with Sheryl. They loved me.  I loved them.  They were thrilled about my budding relationship with Tim.  Dad was a big tease and he loved to tease me and I loved it when he teased me.  Dad was also a kindred spirit in that he loved the Lord and His Word.  We had some great conversations regarding spiritual things.  

January was Tim's turn to make a quick flight down over a weekend.  He stayed with Sheryl and Skip.  We hung out at their house.  Tim and Sheryl and Skip came over and had dinner with my family at my house - I usually went home on the weekends.  All my siblings liked Tim.  Our families had just plain fun together.  There was much laughter.  Skip and Sheryl called my mom "Mother", just like her five children did.  Tim went to church with me on Sunday, and then it was back home again.  More letters and phone calls, and another huge phone bill.  (Tim's phone bill was just as big.  We switched back and forth.  I would call him and then the next night he would call me.  We talked for at least an hour each night, sometimes two.  I didn't have time for homework, so why go to class?)  The girls in the dormitories loved to pull pranks on each other.  One afternoon I pushed a toilet stall door open, getting ready to pay for another five minutes on the phone with Tim.  Half a male mannequin (from the waist up) was jutting out of the toilet.  I screamed.  Several girls came running into the bathroom.  We all had a good laugh.  I endured several practical jokes, but it was worth the time I got to spend with Tim on the phone.

I knew February would be my turn to fly up again.  I finagled it out of Sheryl that Tim had asked her about my ring size.  I just knew he was going to ask me to marry him!  When he picked me up at the airport he was unusually quiet.  He walked me up to his parent's apartment, didn't stay long, and went home.   The smile that I loved just wasn't there.  I knew something was up.  I definitely had trouble getting to sleep that night.  He picked me up the next morning.  We headed over the Santa Cruz mountains to Mt. Herman, a Christian Conference Center.  We were going to spend the day there.  His pastor owned a beautiful home in the area.  We had use of the fireplace for the afternoon.  The ride over was very quiet.  A knot lay in my stomach.  Before going to the home, we went for a walk in the woods.  I asked Tim what was wrong.  He hemmed and hawed, then finally told me he had planned to ask me to marry him, but he was getting cold feet.  He wasn't sure if I was the right girl for him.  I spent the next twenty minutes, talking non-stop (which was totally out of character for me!), declaring my love to him.  I told him I desired to be his wife, his helpmeet, and that I wanted to be married to him!  He seemed to relax and the smile returned.  

We went to the pastor's house - Tim lit a fire in the fireplace.  We talked.  We talked some more.  Then, out of the blue, Tim stood up.  He pulled a small blue, velvet box from his pocket.  One of his knees dropped to the floor.  He looked up at me.  He smiled - and then I caught my breath as he asked me the question almost every girl dreams about being asked...

This Wondrous Love - Chapter One

A Story of God's Love and Grace -


Happy Anniversary, Sheryl and Skip!

Thirty-two years ago today, on November 10, 1979, my dear college friend, Sheryl Hall, married Skip Ragan.  Now, you might notice that her maiden name is my last name.  It's because the night of Sheryl's wedding, I fell in love with her brother...

Tim and I were asked to take the wedding gifts to the home where Skip and Sheryl would be living after they returned from their honeymoon.  I had met Tim a year and a half earlier, over Biola's spring break, in 1978.  Sheryl and I became good friends in the early part of 1978.  I was in my second year at Biola.  She worked at Biola and was a part time student.  We were also in the college Sunday School class together at church.   Sheryl's family lived in the Bay Area, an eight hour drive north of Biola, and LA.  She was going to go see them over spring break and she invited me to tag along.  She had told me she had a brother but she didn't think I would be interested in him.  Tim and I met on that trip and I thought he was nice, but she was right, I wasn't interested.  Then, Tim came down in the late spring to visit Sheryl.  We saw each other again, but it was just a nice visit.  That summer I was going to be working at a camp.  Tim came down again for another visit and he and Sheryl drove up to the camp to visit me on one of my weekends off.  By this time we were friends but I still wasn't interested in dating.  I did get his address and sent him a post card while at camp - and then a letter, later in the summer, after camp, while I was on a road trip to Alaska with some of my family.

I began my third year at Biola in the fall of 1978.  Tim and I saw each other once or twice when he came down to visit Sheryl, but we just remained friends.  Sheryl became engaged in early 1979 and would be married in November.  That summer, I worked on campus in dorm maintenance and dated a guy that was on the work crew.  I took a week off and went on a trip up to the Bay Area with Sheryl.  We did some camping with her family.  Tim was there.  He took me out for a ride around the lake in his canoe, but it was just a fun time, nothing more.

The fall brought my fourth and final year at Biola.  I had lived at home the first three years but decided to live on campus, even though it was just twelve miles from home.  I wanted more independence and the experience of campus life.  Truth be told, I was tired of school at this point.  I had never settled down into one major.  I changed my major six times!  All I really wanted to do was get married and have a family.  I skipped a lot of my classes right from the start of the year.  I did love my Bible classes however, and made it to most of them, but the rest - attendance was sporadic to nil and I spent very little time studying.

Sheryl's wedding was coming up just a few months into the school year.  I knew Tim was going to be a groomsman in the wedding and I was somewhat excited about seeing him.  I thought it would be fun if we could be paired up together.  It didn't work out, but we did end up taking all the gifts to the house.  For fun, the wedding party decided to go to the Seal Beach pier after the reception.  We would meet up with them after we dropped the gifts off.  We had a really good time together and did a lot of talking as we drove to the house and piled all the gifts up in the corner of the living room and then drove the half hour to the pier.

It was evening by the time we got to the pier.  It was just natural to take Tim's arm as we walked.  We fell behind the rest of the group.  It was a cool evening, he gave me his coat, I was falling in love...

Grace

Grace is a single-word definition of the gospel.  The gospel is the good news of God's grace to sinful mankind.  The nature of grace is giving, and the Bible tells us much more about giving than getting, because God's nature is to give.  God is a God of grace because He is a God who freely gives.  It has nothing to do with anything we have done or have failed to do; it can only be received.

God is gracious because of who He is, not because of who and what we are.  His grace is therefore unmerited, unearned, undeserved.  It depends on entirely the One who gives it, and not on those who receive it.  Grace is God's self-motivated, self-generated, sovereign act of giving.

God's grace has another dimension that places it still further above every other kind of giving.  The greatest gift of grace is self.  Grace is therefore God's Self donation, His Self giving.  He not only gives blessings to men, He gives Himself.  The incomprehensible and staggering truth of the gospel is that the holy God of the universe has given Himself to sinful mankind.  God grants us His salvation, His kingdom, His inheritance, His Spirit, His wisdom, His love, His power, His peace, His glory, and every other spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.  But far more than all of those blessings, He blesses us with His personal presence.  God owes nothing to sinful man except judgment for our sin.  He does not owe men the smallest blessing or favor.  Yet in His grace He has given us the blessing of all blessings, the immeasurable blessing of intimate shared life.  

John MacArthur

The Consummation of the Ages

"But now once at the consummation of the ages 

He has been manifested to put away sin 

by the sacrifice of Himself."

Hebrews 9:26b

The consummation of the ages is Christ at calvary.  He was the consummation of the ages because of His once and for all sacrifice.  

He put away sin.  

He did not simply cover sin, as the old sacrifices had done; He removed it.

John MacArthur

***

Christ did this great work "ONCE" - not repeatedly, but once and once only. And the point is that this sacrifice is so great, that it need not be repeated - not for all the redeemed in the past from the foundation of the world, nor for all the redeemed in the future. 

It is enough. 

That's how great it is. 

The death of Jesus will never do a rerun, because it is so great that it cannot be improved on.  It's effect is so huge that it goes on year after year, century after century doing what it was designed to do, save sinners and present them faultless to God.

John Piper

"So Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him."

Hebrews 9:28


The people always waited expectantly on the Day of Atonement for the high priest to come out from the Holy of Holies.  If he did anything wrong, if he failed to follow God's precise instructions, he would die.  So there was always a sigh of relief, for their own sakes as well as for his, when he reappeared.  If the people were so eager to see the former high priests reappear from the earthly Holy of Holies, how much more should believers look eagerly for their great High Priest to reappear from the heavenly Holy of Holies?  When the high priest walked out of the old sanctuary, the people knew that his sacrifice had been accepted.  He had done everything right.  Jesus Christ's reappearing will be one more confirmation that He did everything right, that His Father is satisfied with Him.  And because the Father is satisfied with Him, He is satisfied with us, for we are in Him.


John MacArthur

Thank You, Jesus

Precious - "Of high price or great value, very valuable or costly - cherished, dear, beloved."

Hebrews 10:1 "For the Law, since it has only a shadow of the good things to come and not the very form of things, can never, by the same sacrifices which they offer continually year by year, make perfect those who draw near. 

2: Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, because the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have had consciousness of sins?

3: But in those sacrifices there is a reminder of sins year by year.

4: For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.

5: Therefore, when He comes into the world, He says, 

   

         "SACRIFICE AND OFFERING

          YOU HAVE NOT DESIRED,

          BUT A BODY YOU HAVE 

          PREPARED FOR ME;

          6: IN WHOLE BURNT

          OFFERINGS AND sacrifices

          FOR SIN YOU HAVE TAKEN 

          NO PLEASURE.

          7: "THEN I SAID, 'BEHOLD, I

          HAVE COME

          (IN THE SCROLL OF THE 

          BOOK IT IS WRITTEN OF ME)

          TO DO YOUR WILL, O GOD. ' "

8: After saying above,

"SACRIFICES AND OFFERINGS 

AND WHOLE BURNT OFFERINGS 

AND sacrifices FOR SIN YOU HAVE 

NOT DESIRED, NOR HAVE YOU

TAKEN PLEASURE in them" (which

are offered according to the Law),

9: then He said, "BEHOLD, I HAVE

COME TO DO YOUR WILL."  He 

takes away the first in order to 

establish the second.

10: By this will we have been 

sanctified through the offering of 

the body of Jesus Christ 

once for all.

11: Every priest stands daily

ministering and offering time after

time the same sacrifices, which 

can never take away sins;

12: but He, having offered one

sacrifice for sins for all time, SAT

DOWN AT THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD,

13: waiting from that time onward

UNTIL HIS ENEMIES BE MADE A

FOOTSTOOL FOR HIS FEET.

14: For by one offering He has 

perfected for all time those who

are sanctified."

John 1:17 "For the Law was given through

Moses; grace and truth were 

realized through Jesus Christ."


John 3:16 "For God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten 

Son, that whoever believes in Him

shall not perish, but have eternal life."

John 17:3  "This is eternal life, that they 

may know You, the only true God,

and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

Thank You, Jesus, for Your precious blood.  We could never keep the Law to make us perfect.  The Law only magnifies our sin.  The Law points us to You.  Thank You, Jesus, for the cross.  Your love for us and the Father led You there.  There was no need for the nails because Your love for us kept You there, until our sins were paid for.  You, perfected us, for all time.

Thank You.