"If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's shall save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."
Mark 8:34-38
The last part of this passage where Jesus lays out the requirements for true discipleship has been reverberating through my mind ever since I left the laundromat yesterday. I have the wonderful opportunity of sharing the good news of Jesus Christ almost every Thursday. Thursday is laundromat day for me and I am always meeting new people. I wouldn't be honest with you if I told you it was always easy for me. Sometimes I battle with the fear of being rejected. I also battle with the fear of not knowing what to say. Yesterday, I finished packing up the van with all four baskets of my clean clothes, and hadn't talked to anyone yet about the Lord. A mom with her daughter was there when I first arrived, as well as an elderly gentleman with his dog. Later on, another man came in and began filling up the machine that was next to one of mine. We exchanged hellos, but I remained in my comfortable cocoon. I took the last basket out to the car and got in the driver's seat, but before I closed the door the Lord prompted me to go back in and talk to the man with whom I'd exchanged hellos. "But I don't feel like it, Lord." Then I came under conviction about being ashamed and fearful. I was making the situation about me and my comfort. I was setting my mind on my emotions. Not good. Sinful.
Our flesh's tendency will always be for comfort and self-preservation. By using the word "ashamed," Jesus understands the inward struggles we face. In the first part of this passage, Jesus gives us the formula for not being ashamed of Him - self-denial to the point of death, and pursuing Him. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me." When we deny ourselves, refraining from satisfying our fleshly desires and we set our eyes on Him and follow Him, when we stick to Him, we will not be ashamed or embarrassed by Him.
As I sat there, struggling, the Lord graciously reminded me of His sacrificial love for me. He put me before Himself, He took my filthy garment of sin, put it on His purity and holiness, and wrapped me in His righteousness. He stepped into the bull's eye of God's wrath that should have crushed me for my sin. He died for me, paying the price for my sin, so that I could be forgiven and have eternal life, so that I could know Him throughout eternity, so that He could continue to lavish on me, in the ages to come, the unlimited, unfathomable riches of His favor. I could start the van and pull away and Jesus would still love me. His loving us is not prerequisite upon our performance. His love is the love of choice and the will and it is steadfast for us, enduring forever, and it began before He even created the world. I realized however the sorrow it would bring Him if I drove away, being embarrassed and ashamed of Him. He reminded me that His hand was upon me. He reminded me that I am enclosed behind and before, with Him, the sovereign God of the universe. Whatever response I would get would not separate me from His love. Boldness for Jesus comes when we set our minds on Him, by spending much time with Him in His Word, enlarging our view of Him. I got out of the van and walked back into the laundromat, and was blessed with meeting a brother in Christ.
May we let the joy Jesus had in doing the will of His Father, His joy over our salvation, and His glory and beauty be our strength in sharing the gospel.
2 comments:
You're something else, Kathy! Way to go! I don't know if you remembered this but in one of Cal's sermons he shared how when he and Mary used to go out for breakfast (it was a Monday routine for them), they would tell the waitress that they were going to pray for their meal and asked her if there was anything they could pray for her about. I think this is a great way to open a door. That fear of rejection is great in all of us - not sure why it's there. It must be in our old nature! I think it's another testimony of God's grace because if we were working for our salvation, we would fear God's rejection and witness all the time, but because He does all the work, we tend to take it for granted and fear man...twisted world, huh?
I remember when Cal shared that. It made a huge impact on me. I think I may even have thought about it when I was sitting there, struggling... Someone told me about enlarging my view of God a few years ago...it has really rocked my world.
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